Hi, I'm Kit, and I'm a mom... IRL.

Hi all, I just wanted to write something really quick to introduce myself. I'm Kit Meredith, and in a fit of delusion/mommy brain Cybergrrl made the mistake of asking me to contribute to the mom's blog when I can. I'm working on some longer topics, but here's something I've been thinking about and wanted to see if anyone had comments on.

CG wrote a excellent post a little while ago about not wanting a baby in SL. I completely agree, but my tension is slightly different - for a while I wondered whether I wanted to acknowledge being a mom in RL at all when I'm in-world. Now, the fact that I'm blogging about this (and my profile admits that my daughter runs my life) should tell you where I came down on this eventually. But it wasn't an easy thing to decide.

What really got me thinking about this was the mom's club group tag. If you're a member of the group, then you know that when the group is active you have a banner floating above your head that says "I'm a Mom & Lovin it." Frankly, I've never worn it. I just can't seem to bring myself to advertise the fact that I'm a mother to everyone in SL who sees me.

And I can't help feeling a little guilty for that. Having a child was the greatest thing that has ever happened to me, and I'll gladly tell any one of you about how proud I am of my little Kitlet. And like I said, it's in my profile, so it's not like I'm hiding anything. On the other hand, I use SL as a diversion from my RL. Not an escape, but a diversion - I use it when I don't want to think for a little while about diapers, or naptimes, or signing up for preschools. And, to be honest, it's nice to be able to look thin and have my hair and makeup done in SL, because it so rarely happens in RL anymore.

I just feel like if I advertise that I'm a mom, people are going to act differently toward me or form opinions from the outset. I simply don't want every conversation to start with, "Oh, so how old are your kids?"

Not that I'm advocating changing the tag - I think if we ever get the group together, it would be fun to all wear it and maybe even go out as a group with it on. And I think it's a great recruiting tool for the group - CG tells me that wearing it helps her start up conversations with other moms. Actually, now that I think about it, that might be why I start wearing it around sometimes, too...

Would love to get other people's opinions on this. Do you use your group tag? Do you acknowledge your mommyhood at all in SL?

When are you inworld?

If you're a mom and on Second Life, I'm doing an informal survey to see what days and times might work for meeting up next week.

Go to this survey, enter your avatar name, and click on time frames next week when you think you might be inworld.

Yes, yes, I know it is unpredictable, but your input will be very helpful.

Thanks!

Cybergrrl

Link: Finding Sophrosyne - Sophrosyne's Saturday Salon: Cybergrrlz!.

Join us Saturday, November 3 from 1 to 3:30 PM SLT at the Diversionarium for a very special Saturday Salon! Our Spotlight guest Cybergrrl Oh (Aliza Sherman) has been helping empower moms, daughters and women entrepreneurs since the dawn of the Web.

I love Soph's description of my work. It makes me sounds so...goddess-like! For all you SLers, stop on by for a dynamic discussion about...well, everything that comes to our minds.

SLURL: The Diversionarium in Pandoria

I'm a Mom in RL but not in Second Life

Yes, in real life, I have a very active (translation: exhausting) 16-month old baby girl. But in SL, I'm child-free and actually want to keep it that way!

The other day I won an entire nursery in SL thanks to a Lucky Chair that didn't realize my "No kids in SL" rule. The lovely low prim furniture was designed by my designer friend AnnMarie McCellan and included a...gasp, horrors...crib. Now what in the world will I do with a crib in-world if I don't have - and don't want to have - SL children?

I thought about putting my SL Chihuahua in it but that seemed cruel. Finally, I learned that I'll be helping with a promotion for a chick-lit book that has "baby" in the title so we'll offer it up as a prize in that contest. Can't wait to get rid of it and give it to someone who can truly appreciate the craftsmanship.

So bottom line: I do not want a baby in SL. I don't even want my avatar to ever appear pregnant. Been there and done that in RL and not about to do it again - at least not yet.

What motivates women to make their avis pregnant anyway? They must not have kids in RL. Or they are those supermommies who love being mommies all the time and were basically put on this earth to be mothers. That, I hate to admit, is not me.

Do I go to SL to escape my RL? Not really. The things I do in SL are extensions of what I do in RL, at least in terms of work. And the friendships I'm making in-world are as good, if not better, than the ones I make on Twitter and other online venues. So I'm not really looking for a life in SL that is wildly different from my own.

But I draw the line at kids. I have a hard enough time keeping up with RL mommyhood so I'll just focus my energy on my flesh and blood baby, thank you very much.

Anyway - I've started a group for other women who are Moms in real life and using Second Life. Join: Moms in Second Life to find out more!